You're in a gap between who you were and who you're becoming. Your communication confidence can feel borrowed. Your sense of self can feel like it needs a new address. Each edition delivers one small step to help you communicate with more confidence, and move through change without losing yourself. Read one below, if you find yourself in it, you're in the right place. Written by Susan, Director of Blossoming Speaker and creator of the Speak Afraid Method.
My love-hate relationship with collaboration.
InsightI love the act of collaboration, vibing with the people around you, even the ones you don’t really like. It is a powerful place to be in and when done well, I feel like I could move mountains, my energy becomes bountiful, and I learn so much. But getting there is a path I mostly dread because it takes a lot of communication effort for everyone to get on the same page. To have everyone aligned and agreeing to move together in a harmony that only collaboration can bring, well that is an even harder goal to achieve. And this comes from me, a person with a generally positive, go-getter attitude, who loves the act of collaboration. This makes it even clearer to me the importance of prioritising communication upskilling. Where I believe the balance is a little off is when we focus too much on the skills side, and not enough on the listening and observing part. So What?It is the listening and being open to understanding others' communication style when observing them, is what makes the path to great collaboration easier. This is how we calibrate our own style with others’ without losing ourselves. Most of the time I believe we listen briefly, mostly to jump in to say something or jump into judgement mode in our mind. Well that is what I noticed happening to me when I was having a difficult time contributing to the flow of collaboration. I also noticed it in others too when they describe how much others are causing disunity in the act of collaboration. As I once heard, and believe is relevant in this situation, in collaboration we need to be the change we want to see. We must be brave to lead in the act of listening and observing to understand and then calibrate our communication style to gain harmony. It is persistence in this, backed with ongoing training in communication, that helps you have the resilience to see this leadership through to receive its fruits. I can say the fruits always come, even with the most resistant in the collaboration group. Usually it takes one more step when we want to throw it all in and give up. Next StepThis is not something mastered in one go, but taking one step forward in this approach to collaboration is better than where you were. I encourage you to start by pausing when you feel like you want to speak in a collaboration setting, and listen one moment more. You may ask an active listening clarifying question if you like. Then observe what you discover first, both inside you and then around you. It may feel uncomfortable or you may have your inner dialogue bombarding you, so what I do when this happens to me is take another pause and breathe, then decide if I want to be led by this dialogue / discomfort, or not. All the best, Susan. |
Minute Insight by Blossoming Speaker
You're in a gap between who you were and who you're becoming. Your communication confidence can feel borrowed. Your sense of self can feel like it needs a new address. Each edition delivers one small step to help you communicate with more confidence, and move through change without losing yourself. Read one below, if you find yourself in it, you're in the right place. Written by Susan, Director of Blossoming Speaker and creator of the Speak Afraid Method.
Insight I sometimes think that being under pressure is like being a boiling potato. Yes, thanks to me practicing the Speak Afraid Method, I am becoming more courageous and confident in sharing different perspectives to help you communicate through the uncertainty gap of change. Now back to boiling potatoes. Pressure is required for the potato to boil and for it to change its state from raw to cooked. Pressure here is not a problem but something required to help the potato transform. It’s when...
Insight I’ve said “you are enough” to other people more times than I can count, I even included it as my first affirmation in my book Confidence Booster, Affirmations to Reframe Your Mindset and Boost Confidence. I meant it every time I said it and wrote it. I can see it in others clearly, and know it is a truth. But believing it about myself, in a way that sticks, well, that is a different conversation. So I spent time learning why and so far, I came across two reasons. I will discuss one...
Insight For years I believed courage was something I needed to dig for. The deeper I went, the more I’d find. So, when change arrived and shook something loose inside me, I kept digging, head down, inward, searching. I didn’t realise that all that digging was actually my most convincing excuse to stay still. I was in the uncertainty gap. No longer who I was, not yet who I am becoming, and in that in between space, I couldn’t articulate much. The words sat at the tip of my tongue and wouldn’t...