You're in a gap between who you were and who you're becoming. Your communication confidence can feel borrowed. Your sense of self can feel like it needs a new address. Each edition delivers one small step to help you communicate with more confidence, and move through change without losing yourself. Read one below, if you find yourself in it, you're in the right place. Written by Susan, Director of Blossoming Speaker and creator of the Speak Afraid Method.
Why presence techniques stop working when the pressure is real.
InsightI sometimes think that being under pressure is like being a boiling potato. Yes, thanks to me practicing the Speak Afraid Method, I am becoming more courageous and confident in sharing different perspectives to help you communicate through the uncertainty gap of change. Now back to boiling potatoes. Pressure is required for the potato to boil and for it to change its state from raw to cooked. Pressure here is not a problem but something required to help the potato transform. It’s when the pot starts overboiling because too much has been added that increases the pressure. For us it looks like worrying about how to show up, the fear of being seen mid-transformation while you’re still figuring it all out, the exhaustion of holding onto who you were in situations that are already asking you to become that person you are transforming into. All with the common theme of our presence. Now there are a lot of great training resources out there about presence. I use them and teach them but I noticed something. The relief of using these techniques, especially during big changes, doesn’t last. The pressure kept on building. So What?Think back to the potatoes boiling. When pressure continues to increase, the water starts to over-boil, spilling out of the pot. That is what it feels like when the pressure continues to increase for us and there is a demand for us to still show up with ‘presence’. The pressure over-boils and spills into other areas of our life. This realisation is why I started developing and practicing ways to add on this thing to presence training. Ways to remove the lid to let the pressure out. Sometimes we cannot help feeling the fear, worries, and exhaustion that comes with change, but I now know there are ways to remove the lid so re may release its pressure and not over-boil. That removing the lid is like the quieter, or private work we need to do to release what you and I were not meant to carry into the next version of ourselves. This release when joined with the practice of grief and gratitude, helps release excess pressure so you may still transform into your new version of you without the excess pressure spilling into this process or other areas of your life. To hear more about this perspective, check out the latest episode on The Blossoming Speaker Podcast, Presence Under Pressure. Next Step.Spend five minutes brainstorming on all the extra things that have been added to your pot of change. Then spend the next 5 minutes circling the ones you believe you don’t need and what to release. And in advance, great work. All the best, Susan. |
Minute Insight by Blossoming Speaker
You're in a gap between who you were and who you're becoming. Your communication confidence can feel borrowed. Your sense of self can feel like it needs a new address. Each edition delivers one small step to help you communicate with more confidence, and move through change without losing yourself. Read one below, if you find yourself in it, you're in the right place. Written by Susan, Director of Blossoming Speaker and creator of the Speak Afraid Method.
Insight I’ve said “you are enough” to other people more times than I can count, I even included it as my first affirmation in my book Confidence Booster, Affirmations to Reframe Your Mindset and Boost Confidence. I meant it every time I said it and wrote it. I can see it in others clearly, and know it is a truth. But believing it about myself, in a way that sticks, well, that is a different conversation. So I spent time learning why and so far, I came across two reasons. I will discuss one...
Insight For years I believed courage was something I needed to dig for. The deeper I went, the more I’d find. So, when change arrived and shook something loose inside me, I kept digging, head down, inward, searching. I didn’t realise that all that digging was actually my most convincing excuse to stay still. I was in the uncertainty gap. No longer who I was, not yet who I am becoming, and in that in between space, I couldn’t articulate much. The words sat at the tip of my tongue and wouldn’t...
Insight There is a tiredness from change that I feel is not talked about much at all. The kind that comes from still showing up for your team, your clients, your family, lets face it, all the people who need the version of you that feels most like yourself. Yet here you are in change. A change that is currently transforming who you are becoming, so their ask and your desire to show up as yourself becomes a little harder. Especially when you are in what I call the uncertainty gap where you are...