I used to believe it was harder to face my public speaking and confidence fears and go through them. It's actually harder to not do this. Staying in your current position, believing it is still a place of comfort, is the hardest part because it impacts all parts of you and your life experiences. Staying still in comfort also takes more energy from you overall compared to continuing with your fear still bothering you.

All absolutely normal I learned, but knowing this does little to make breaking through any fear barriers something that is highly desired. Here is what I learned, experience, and now I witness my clients experience.

Staying in the comfort zone and avoiding facing any public speaking or confidence fear, decreases your energy like a slowly deflating balloon where you cannot find where the hole is. You feel like a helium filled balloon floating high, feeling good, then all of a sudden, you are really low and don’t know how you got there. That is what the energy decrease is like when staying in your comfort zone. It is hard to notice until you are really flat.

When taking action to face your fear and speak afraid, it takes a known hit to your energy levels. You feel it because your adrenaline system is activated and all your senses pick up on the clues. I believe this is a good thing because you may use these signals to refuel yourself. Also, I now know that breaking through your fear barrier also demands this. Rest.

Rest should not be something you wait to do on a holiday or when you feel there are no other options as your body is about to collapse. It is designed to be an active companion in your daily life. When I realised this, I asked myself, “How do I rest?”

For me, this was a difficult question as I am both naturally wired and programmed to be in a state of action…you know, the do more to be more saga. The cost to my health, my relationships, and the way I wanted to live my life, I decided, was too high to not know the answer to this question, but I needed to rewire a lot of my thinking, my habits, and belief systems about myself, to put what I learned about rest into action. Now I am able to enjoy a state of peace when I am going through a horrible storm both figuratively and literally.

I share this inside my latest book, Speak Afraid. Redirecting Fear Into Courage to Communicate Through Change. Yes, I’ve been speaking about this book for a while now, and this Speak Afraid Method is what helped me finally publish it. You may listen to it now inside the Speak Afraid Audio Pack, or read it as an eBook. The paperback will be available in October 2026. You may gain access to it at blossomingspeaker.com​

Staying in your comfort zone to avoid any public speaking and confidence fear may be costing you more than breaking through that fear barrier. Breaking through demands rest, and to truly rest even in the mess and stress, is something you may need to rewire your thoughts or habits, because this is a way to unlock rest’s power to help get you through and lean on your courage to keep going.

Reflection:

What areas of your life could you incorporate more rest in?

All the best, Susan.

​
​