Many people believe confident communicators don’t get nervous. That they no longer have any fear, hesitation, doubt, or uncertainty when they speak or prepare to speak. I can tell you that is not what is happening.

The people I worked with who speak well still feel the flutter, the doubt, and experience mind thought questions like, “what if I get this wrong?” or “what will the people in this room think of me if I say this?”

The difference is they learn and continue to evolve the ways to speak through these. Confidence is not the absence of nerves. It is instead the habit of courage in action.

The courage to communicate always grows in small ways. Offering your idea in a meeting. Asking a question you thought was too basic. Saying “I see it differently” respectfully and with kindness.

Each time you practice your own habit of courage to communicate, the nerves, doubt, mind chatter, all get a little quieter. Not because you blocked them, forced them away, or labelled them as something else. Because you acted on your courage to communicate. This is where your confidence continues to grow with you.

You’re probably more courageous than you give yourself credit for. You’ve likely done braver things than you remember.

So here is an exercise to act on. Spend 5 minutes listing all the times you acted on courage to speak. No judgement. No thinking about what could have been. Only observing and listing all the times you acted with courage when communicating.

It could be turning up for a job interview. Arriving at a new networking event and saying hello. Taking part of an ice breaker that you really don’t like being part of.

Hit reply to continue this conversation and share your insights. I read every message.

All the best, Susan.